Last week I heard myself say something I hadn’t said before and it sort of shocked me. I often heard my mother and some of my older family members say it and at the time I didn’t understand it. It’s been years, yet it slipped out of my mouth in a way that surprised me enough to make me stop and reflect on what I said.
“God willing” I said, as I was speaking to one of my clients when responding to a question he asked. It felt so weird to say it when I hadn’t heard it for such a long time. It stimulated a very rich coaching experience for both of us. We were curious about what God’s will might be and what it was not. This led to us deciding we can never know what the future holds so why worry?
As a child I thought the adults were begging God to help make something happen because they always said “God willing” in response to my request for something I thought I needed. Eventually I stopped asking the adults in my life and just asked God directly. What clever and wise people they were. They might have been passing the buck or gently fobbing me off because after all, if it’s not the will of God, it can’t happen, and I came to just accept that.
I seem to remember complaining to my mother at some stage, that God wasn’t listening and didn’t answer any of my requests and prayers and her standard answer was “if it’s meant to happen, God will provide.” As I grew into a young woman, this became my belief too and my mantra became “being ok with whatever shows up is the secret to happiness.” I’ve often been criticized for this and sometimes I’ve wondered about the truth of it myself, especially when things are more challenging than I’d like.
Discovering the work of Sydney Banks, the Scottish Mystic who gave the world the understanding of the 3 Principles, changed my life. I started seeing how the quality of my life was a result of the quality of my thinking and it impacted how I showed up to the life that was being given to me. I realized that life had never happened TO me but had always happened FOR ME and today I still KNOW this.
Twenty-seven years ago, I went through the biggest shift in my life, and it came as a result of a massive trauma. It was tragic and it was life altering in a way that is impossible to describe because it involved death, destruction, attempted suicide by a family member, depression, divorce and difficulty of such magnitude. It left deep scars on many people including me. At the time I implored God to take away the pain, the tears and the suffering and wondered why? Was it God’s will?
I received so much advice from well-meaning people and was also at the receiving end of many judgmental people who didn’t like the choices I made as a result of this event. Through it all I had one feeling that is still with me today and it’s this; that it was happening for a reason I couldn’t understand. I understood that whether I ever knew the reason why I had to experience life in such a way or not in the future was irrelevant, because I would be ok since it must be God’s will.
Today I can say with conviction that without that particular event and many others, I would not be the person I am today. I absolutely had to go through those experiences to forge me into the coach I am today with a mission to help people re-discover their own inbuilt guidance. Everyone has it – no exception. Wisdom is not something you get over time and with experience; Wisdom can be accessed anytime, and it comes through grace.
The only control I have IN life is how I respond TO life in the moment life happens, in real time. That’s life constantly happening for me and also for you.
If you’re willing to see that God’s will (or whatever word you use i.e. Universe/Spirit/Source) is working for you, to forge you into the infinite creative potential that you already are, you will experience the peace that my mother clearly knew about and passed on to me.
Thank you, Mom. God willing, my children will receive this legacy too.
All my love