“No” is a full sentence!
I love this statement. I heard Oprah Winfrey say this in an interview many years ago. It gave me confidence and allowed me to stop trying to please people and worry if I might upset them, at a time when I was still ‘up in my head’ about everything.
Today I had to use that on myself and it worked out incredibly well.
I was meant to attend a meeting with a spiritual teacher (I also need to share and talk) but I had also committed to attending the birthday party of a client who has become a friend and whom I value very much. Now the times were completely different and when I received the invite, I knew that I would be able to attend both.
I arrived at the party at 11h30 and realized that I would not want to leave the party early. I also felt that I would probably get more healing and therapy by hanging out with a bunch of really lovely people. So I made the decision to cancel my meeting. I said “NO” to myself. I didn’t “have” to do anything I didn’t want to do and I trusted that what I was feeling was right.
Now I know how I feel when people cancel with me at the last minute but I called and let them know that I would be willing to pay for the session, if they couldn’t find someone to fill my space. I knew that it would work out because I have come to understand the way life works and how important it is to be present and in the moment and to trust how I feel.
I decided that if I am to feel happy and content with my decision and really enjoy the lovely feeling of spending time just having fun, the Universe would work things out so that I would get to do what I felt in my heart was the right thing to do. I also felt really good about the fact that someone who really needed the appointment would be surprised when they received the call that they could attend in my place.
Soon after relaxing with a glass of champagne, I got the call to say someone was found and it all worked out and I made another appointment (only next year but then I knew that).
On reflection, I realize that I have become very comfortable saying NO! Of course I always try to be aware and never willingly hurt people, but what is the point of pleasing others and hurting myself with regrets and self-loathing because I really wanted to do something else?
I have also consciously not filled every hour of every day with stuff to do but have found a peaceful way of leaving gaps to be surprised by life.
Do you say ‘yes’ when you really want to say ‘no?” Do you trust your feelings and realize when you are stuck in your thinking?
Freedom is a state of being – decide how free you WANT to feel and go after that – it takes some practice but it’s so worth it.
Here is a story from a client who discovered her freedom! Just so happens that she is the client whose birthday party I attended today.
“2017 was a year of great confusion for me. I had suffered severe health setbacks, had gone into menopause and also as a result of total adrenal fatigue and acute burnout..”