Seems like just a few years ago that I turned 20. It was 1978 and life was peachy! That was 40 years ago.
As I reflect on my life, it’s quite difficult to remember when I was happier than I am now. It would seem that the older I get the happier I become. I’m not sure why but I’m damn sure how I happened to be this way in my life right now.
I had a big celebration which lasted 10 days. I took the saying literally “if you haven’t grown up by the time you turn 60, you don’t have to! An exotic holiday with children and grandchildren and some friends who are more like family than family and then a beautiful ‘coming of age” beach ceremony with girlfriends a few days later, then a party with cocktails and dancing, speeches and all the bells and whistles and it was fabulous!
I really love my life. I have so much to be grateful for and I consider myself greatly blessed with everything a girl could ever want. A wonderful loving husband, amazing children and beautiful grandchildren, loyal friends and a thriving and successful business. Sounds perfect – right! The truth is, stuff still happens – really shitty stuff sometimes and problems still stress me out and I hurt and feel pain and heartache like everyone else. The game changer for me is that I have learnt to let go far quicker than I ever did and I choose to focus on what is right in my life rather than on what is ‘wrong.’
In his speech to acknowledge me on my birthday, my son could not have honoured me more by saying that he has come to realize that I truly follow my motto of “being ok with whatever turns up” and I do. Is it always easy – NO – but is it always possible – YES!!! Regardless of the circumstances or the issues, I know that if I just breathe and slow down and resist the temptation to react, the thought of how bad something is, usually passes quickly and a new thought takes its place. Actually, if I focus on all the good stuff, I feel better and I give my body the best chance of feeling balanced and relaxed when I surrender.
This has taken some practice and some commitment. I was so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired so many moons ago, I decided that I would shift my focus and start to change the way I looked at things. Miraculously, these things started to look different – they didn’t go away but they appeared to have less intensity about them or what actually happened is that I began to realize that the issues were really created in my own mind,
It was life-changing. I stopped over analyzing every situation and I stopped over-thinking every decision. The more I allowed myself to let go, the more freedom I felt and the better the quality of my thoughts became. I started to engage more with real life and less with my imagined problems. My mind became clearer and I even seemed to have more time.
What I came to realize was that I was using my thinking against me and that was the key. I stopped asking defeating questions like “why can’t I get this right?’ to “what do I need to do to get this right?” and “why is it so hard to make money?” to “what do I need to do to improve my financial state?” I still slip up at times and catch myself asking debilitating questions but now I can ‘shift gears’ much quicker so that I stop driving myself crazy with those questions and instead allow myself to FEEL rather than THINK.
If you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, I want to encourage you to ask this very powerful question:
“Who would I be without my story?”
Then decide – do you want to change your story and change your life or do you want to be complaining, blaming, naming and shaming everyone else and everything else and be telling the same old story for the next 10, 20, 30 or 40 years?
My prayer is that you decide – that you commit – that you begin a new journey so that in the next chapter you can say:
“I am so in love with my life”