Disconnect to Connect

A few days ago while walking in our local shopping mall, a sign in a window caught my eye.  It said, “Disconnect to Connect.”  Initially, these words may seem confusing but in this digital age, we all know exactly what that means.

These days, children as young as 2 and 3 years old are addicted to devices that entertain and delight while busy parents focus on more “important” things.  Families sit at restaurants and everyone is engrossed with their smartphones while texting, tweeting, filtering pics on Instagram and scrolling through FB.

There is no replacement for connecting with human beings in a deep and real way other than spending time with them, face to face with presence and awareness.  Technology has its place and I personally could not do without my cell phone as it helps me keep on track with my business and to ensure my clients are communicating with me when necessary.  Facetime is a wonderful way to connect with my children and grandchild all of whom do not stay close by and I am really grateful that I can see their beautiful faces regularly.  But when I am in their presence, I want to be able to sense their emotions; look into their eyes and see the love or sometimes the pain and I always want to have both hands free to hug and cuddle them a lot!

In a few weeks, I will venture out with a group of ladies and go on retreat.  A time of respite to gather ourselves before the silly season begins (it seems to come around sooner and sooner these days) and to contemplate and reflect while enjoying nature.  We will walk, we will rest, we will talk, we will be silent, we will cry and we most definitely will laugh and all we will need is just to be – there really is no-thing to do – just to be.

In a world that still indoctrinates us to believe that we must work harder, smarter, faster, longer to get more; bigger and better “stuff”, it’s no wonder that society is becoming more stressed and sicker than any other time in our history.  The signs are all there – the writing is on the wall – when does it stop and when will it ever get better?

Being a life coach means that people come to see me to sort their lives out.  They feel out of balance and out of sync with who they are and what they need to do.  They want to find their purpose and they want to be happy.  They have problems and issues and don’t have solutions or plans and they cannot see a brighter future.

All of this creates a busy and confused mind which always leads to even more lack of focus and more stress and the endless loop of thinking, feeling and acting in a busy, highly charged way can never give you clarity of thought or peace.

I love my work and I am incredibly grateful that I get to witness people transform and change their lives into greater levels of consciousness and awareness.  Whether it’s to uplevel their thinking or improve their relationship or create a better future through their business all of these paths lead to greater joy and happiness, but how do you do it?

The greatest advise I ever received came from a beautiful teacher who said the secret to happiness is “being ok with whatever shows up” and at the time I thought that was the biggest lie I had ever heard but many years later, I have come to understand that when I resist what “is” I create stress and frustration as what has already happened cannot be undone and the only control I have over the situation is to control the way I respond to it. This takes practice as our ‘hard-wired’ brains trigger us into reacting in the same old way, day after day, year after year until something ‘wakes’ us up to the fact that if we keep on doing what we’re doing, we will continue getting what we’re getting.

As I prepare to retreat for a few days into a quiet and peaceful space with a group of women, I am reminded of a few things:

  1. I am precisely as big as what I love and precisely as small as what I allow to annoy me
  2. The source of my performance is NOT my drive or pressure but is absolutely the quality of my mind
  3. It’s ok to say NO to many things so that I can say YES to the important things
  4. I no longer try to figure things out – I live from inspiration and intuition
  5. Well-being is not the fruit of what I do – it is the essence of who I am being
  6. My work is to let my desire flow and then to allow and accept whatever shows up
  7. Everything is in divine, right order
  8. I haven’t created abundance – abundance is always present – I have created limitations and my work now is to recognize my limiting defaults and transcend them
  9. I choose to give my all – whether that is to connect or disconnect – I choose – and that is the most ordinary and the most extraordinary human thing I could do


And finally, the quote that I like to remind myself of, often:


“Are you a God”? They asked the Buddha

No, he replied

Are you an angel, then?


A Saint.


Then what are you?

Replied the Buddha “I am awake.”


If you would like to learn more about my upcoming “Zinkwazi Zen Retreat” please go to this link: Zinkwazi Zen Retreat.  We still have spaces left and I would love to disconnect from life for a few days and connect with you over 5 days of peace and tranquillity, as we learn and grow together.


All my love


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