I’ve been wanting to do this for many years and finally, I have made the decision and my life is about to change…
For over 9 years now, I have been completely absorbed in my work, which I love. Learning, stretching, growing, failing, succeeding and it feels like not one day has passed, without me thinking about how I can be of greater service to my clients. Although I have been doing this work for almost 35 years now, in the last 9 years I have been busy with this work full-time, sometimes over weekends, holidays, very early mornings and often very late nights completing projects or coaching clients overseas at odd hours due to time differences.
This quest has taken me overseas to study with several master teachers; reading dozens and dozens of books; researching constantly and participating in numerous courses to further my education and my understanding of how to help people change, transform and fix their broken lives.
Over the last 2 years, I have been uncovering some wisdom that had me confused at first and then excited at the prospect of never again having to learn any more, in fact I am in the process of unlearning!
This is probably going to sound completely counter-intuitive to anything you have ever heard from coaches, teachers and self-help gurus but for me, I have found a truth!
I believe I have always known this truth, in fact I KNOW that this truth has been my underlying driver to get me to this place of wanting to ‘unlearn’ all the tools, techniques and formulas that I thought would get me to be more aware and enlightened. And I know that everyone has this truth inside them.
Before I confuse you any further (I know you are, because that’s exactly how I felt when I first heard this), let me explain what has happened to me.
Going through some stuff and wanting to experience a happier and healthier life, had me searching and seeking and this is the label I gave myself – that I am a seeker and I will continue to search until I find what I am looking for, whatever that is. Over the years, there have been times that I have been extremely happy and peaceful and times that I have been extremely sad, depressed and overwhelmed. This is the human condition. Anyone that tells you that you should feel happy and peaceful all the time and if you’re not then you need to work on being in this perfect, yet unattainable state, is a liar!
As humans, we will go through a lifetime of ups and downs and this is normal. I now understand that even though I will continue to go through ups and downs, I can stop beating myself up and I can stop thinking that I am not good enough, talented enough, young (or old) enough and that who I am is exactly who I need to be. This understanding is really a wisdom that we all have but which has been ‘hidden’ under the persona we have created.
Now, you might understand this immediately or at some level, feel that this is the truth. For some this will sound ridiculous and false and for those of you who feel this is baloney, you should probably stop reading now. It’s ok – I will not take offence and you will not be disappointing me. This wisdom is there whenever you feel ready to tap into it – it will not leave you if you don’t want to hear about it now. You will not be punished because it does not resonate with you now and you are not a bad person that is lost!
For those who feel some stirring about this truth – welcome to a new way of being.
There is a simplicity to life that our modern way of living does not really support. Almost every system that we accept as being normal and a part of life, is in reality, completely flawed and can never work long-term. These systems are based on instilling fear into people in order to trigger some action to avoid the ‘pain’ that the media ensures us we will feel, should we not take the suggested action encouraged.
For example, we are told that if we don’t insure everything, when we are robbed, get sick, lose our jobs, get stuck, get scared and generally “suffer” then our lives will suck, and we should do something about it, “just in case” so that we can avoid the pain and uncomfortable situation. A cleverly designed marketing campaign will put money in the pockets of the advertisers and you may feel more secure but in reality you are operating from a level of fear. The media is saying it’s kind of a ‘given’, that you will be a victim of these negative experiences so best you prepare for them.
Likewise, if we aren’t young (at heart), attractive, sexy, smart, educated, popular and confident, we are likely to fail at life.
Similarly, if we really want to be successful then we must eat certain foods only, exercise for hours every day, meditate every day, be charitable, be positive 24/7, have perfect homes, great cars, beautiful and perfect children who excel at everything and love ourselves all the time.
I’m not saying that any of these things are unimportant, what I am saying is that we have become so focused on what we need to do so that we can feel better about ourselves and our lives and we have forgotten the simplicity of just being who we are.
I went through years of comparing myself to everyone that I saw as being something better than me and wanting to ‘fix’ myself so that I could fit it. Only to discover as my life unfolded, that who I am, is perfect in all my imperfections. Before you start feeling bad that you don’t feel this way, let me tell you that this has taken me years and years. Many people find this wisdom without going through all the pain and drama of life. Some are young and some are old – there is no formula for finding this – it happens by Grace.
Although this is a simple subject, one blog post is not going to cover this new understanding fully, and that is why I am doing what I am doing.
On the 1st of September I am going on a few months sabbatical. I will still be coaching one-on-one and speaking wherever I am asked to speak, but I am giving myself a much needed break from planning, organizing, coordinating and preparing anything for groups, workshops and events. As a solopreneur, anything that needs to be done, I do myself and I have come to realize that if I am to fully immerse myself in this wonderful new way of being, I have to let-go of the need to constantly create something new and simply be ME!
This is not about giving up but about giving myself space for something new to emerge. The Universe abhors a vacuum so releasing these things will open up space for new things to ‘drop’ into this space. Changes will occur and I have no idea what they might be. What I do know is that I am completely at ease with not knowing and I welcome whatever turns up.
This is what I love about this wisdom that I have realized I have (you have it too). I have realized that I am in a deep state of trusting that the perfect thing will unfold and I just have to be me, and it will show up. It’s the most peaceful I have ever felt and the most relaxed I have ever been and those of you who know me, know how calm I can be. I feel I have reached such a major insight and I want to marinate in it and allow it to infuse me with a greater level of consciousness.
How this will turn out, I have no idea but I do know that I will not be disappointed. We are promised that “we will have this and more” and I am allowing that truth to unfold. I will not be chasing it, learning more about it, trying to find it or hoping it will ‘look’ the way I want it to look.
I promise to let you know how it’s going. I promise to tell you the truth and I promise you, that should you wish to, you can let go – just a little bit – and discover this simple way of being.
I have come to the frightening conclusion, that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate: my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether some crises is escalated or de-escalated or whether a person is humanized or de-humanized. – Goethe
All my love,
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You will never stop teaching, coaching, guiding, helping – thanks so much for also sharing.
Glad you enjoy it Tanya!